Episode 195: Self-Trust in Hard Seasons | Jodi Lynn Karpes on Reinvention

Guest: Jodi Lynn Karpes, founder of GreenQueen PR, with 25 years of PR experience working with major brands and founder-led businesses.

Episode Summary

Jodi Lynn Karpes came to the US believing a hard landing was someone else's story. This conversation follows what happened when it turned out to be hers: a grief she hadn't named, a work environment that took more than it gave, a decision made in a single conversation, and a rebuilding season that is still in progress. It matters because it shows what self-trust looks like while you're inside the hard season, not after.

This episode is for the capable woman who is in a season she didn't plan for and has been asking what's wrong with her instead of what's actually happening.

Key takeaways

- The Grief Nobody Named: Naming what she was experiencing as grief, not failure, let Jodi respond to herself with kindness.
- Environment vs. Self-Blame: You can recognize that an environment is the problem and still aim the blame at yourself.
- The Thirty-Minute Decision: A decision held but not acted on is uncomfortable; the first bite is the way through.
- Affirmations You Can Believe: Sentences you don't believe override you; the ones that work are the ones that resonate.
- Integrity as Self-Trust: Turning down a client you need, because they're the wrong fit, is self-trust expressed.

Guest Bio and Links

Jodi Lynn Karpes is the founder of GreenQueen PR. She has been in PR for 25 years with global experience with major brands, who stayed with her for 8 to 15 years. Her formula in both her personal life and business is authenticity and transparency. GreenQueen helps entrepreneurs and founder-led brands get seen in the media, bringing strategy, people relations, and modern AI tools to businesses. Known for long-term client relationships, transparency, and consistent results to build lasting authority.

- Website: https://www.greenqueenpr.com/
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodilynnkarpes/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/greenqueen_pr

Full Transcript

Dawn: Welcome back to the Self-Trust Solution Podcast. I'm your host, Dawn Ledet, the self-trust coach. Today, I'm joined by Jodi-Lynn Karpes, founder of Green Queen PR. Jodi has 25 years of global PR experience working with major brands, many of whom have worked with her for 15 years. She immigrated to the US from South Africa at 47, rebuilt her life and her business on entirely new ground, and brings authenticity, transparency, and a modern integration of AI tools to entrepreneurs and founder-led brands who are ready to get seen.

But today, we're not talking about what Green Queen does. We're talking about what it took to get here. An immigration that turned out to be nothing like she expected, a toxic work environment she couldn't find her way out of, and a season of rebuilding that is still honestly in progress. Jodi, I'm so glad you're here.

Jodi: It's such a gift to be here. Thank you.

Dawn: So take us back to arriving in the US. What spurred that on, and what did you expect it to be versus what it was actually like?

Jodi: I'm very, very lucky. Let's start there. I entered the green card lottery twice, and I won. Prior to this, it was probably around 2017, I said to the Creator, "I feel like I've hit a ceiling," I'm going to use your word, "and I'm ready for change. It's been 10 years. I'm now one of the 4%. I'm ready for change. Let's see what that looks like." And this was my answer. I won a green card and followed the crumbs and immigrated to the US, and that's pretty much how I got here. So I thought, I'm buoyant, I'm resilient, I've got this. This is no problem. I still had some of my clients. It was COVID, so that was a whole other conversation. And I was just miserable. Absolutely miserable, until I realized that there was a grieving process. Once I realized I was actually grieving...

Dawn: What were you grieving?

Jodi: I left behind my home, my kitties, my parents, my friends, my family. I had the most amazing partner. I was at my ceiling. Everything felt established and safe and secure, and now I had completely jumped off the cliff at 47, which was no fun. Plus, I went into perimenopause, which I hadn't even heard of until that point. So I didn't know what was going on with me physically or mentally or emotionally. But being able to understand the grieving process made it easier for me to navigate it, because we all know grief. It's part of life. So being able to identify it for myself helped me be kinder and gentler to myself.

Dawn: What were you thinking it was before you were able to name it?

Jodi: Depressed. What's wrong with me? A lot of ruminating. What's wrong with me? Why am I not grateful? Why am I not feeling happy? Why are opportunities not flowing to me? I'm lucky. Why am I not manifesting the most amazing opportunities? What's going on? I've had clients for 15 years. I've had the most amazing friendships. One thing I've done well in my life is my friendships and my relationships. Now, what's going on? Seriously. I didn't understand what was wrong with my point of attraction. So it was a lot of blame, and I'm not good enough, and failure, and that's really where I went.

Dawn: You reflected on how that internal state at that time shaped what you moved toward professionally. Tell us more about that and how you understand that now as you look back.

Jodi: I do believe that my point of attraction completely brought into my world something and someone that I'd never experienced before in my life. I'd never experienced a narcissist. I had no frame of reference for what it was like to deal with someone so strategic and so manipulative and toxic, and the environment that it created was demonic or malevolent, to be able to describe it. My team and I used to laugh. We'd say, "We've got Stockholm syndrome," because while knowing we were captives, we were still desperate for her approval. Desperate for approval, desperate to be seen. When we got a compliment, we were elated, on a high for a week or so until it came crashing down. Actually, when I look back, it's quite fascinating to observe the process.

Dawn: Was this the job that you took once you were here in the States?

Jodi: Actually, my second job. The first job was at an organization that I thought would be such a great fit, because it was at a Jewish federation. And being Jewish, I thought, "What a brilliant point of attraction. I'll meet people. I'll integrate into the community. It's going to be amazing." It was COVID, though. Nobody wanted to come back to the office, so people were reluctant to connect. And if I look back at who I was, I probably wasn't the best me either, and probably didn't have an open, welcoming, "let's be friends" presence. I might have been a bit desperate as well. And I wasn't in PR. I was in the marketing department, so there was also that part of it. And it's funny, every time I cheat on PR, which I think has been twice in my life, I always end up going back.

Dawn: I love that, cheating on PR.

Jodi: I've cheated twice. I always run back. What I love about PR is I'm always learning. People, industries, companies, the businesses, the layers, it's just fascinating. So I'm so grateful for all of the experiences. Obviously now it's easy to say that, but at the time, there was so little of me left. At the end of the day I was starting at maybe a five out of 10, and by the end of the day I was on a minus. So I had nothing in me to build a life. I worked remotely. In 10 hours at my desk I could be in Alaska. I could be in a cave in Timbuktu, do you say Timbuktu in this country?

Dawn: Mm-hmm.

Jodi: I could be in a cave in Timbuktu and it would be the same. Now I'm in the United States of America. Oh my God, I won a green card. This isn't it, this isn't it. And then the self-talk was so damaging: I'm not good enough, I'm a failure, I can't find another job. So much was going on in my head that kept me, and my point of attraction, in a space that I'm not used to at all. I couldn't understand it, because it just was not me.

Dawn: Did you recognize that the problem was in the environment, or were you placing all the blame on yourself?

Jodi: On myself. I blamed myself for being there, but definitely the environment was...

Dawn: You recognized that.

Jodi: Oh, 100%. I even had a recruiter who once said to me, "You're going to be hard to place because of where you work, and you're going to have PTSD when you leave. You're going to struggle in your next job."

Dawn: Oh, wow.

Jodi: And this came from a recruiter, which is a big fright. Then, at the end of last year, I began to have... I've got insomnia, that's normal for me. But I'd never had nightmares, awful nightmares, and sleep paralysis. If you don't know sleep paralysis, it's where you're in a dream state, your brain is waking up, but your body is still paralyzed because it's dreaming, and so you can't move. One cannot move, cannot speak, and it is absolutely terrifying, because a part of your brain is in a dream and a part of your brain is in reality, and I cannot move or scream or ask for help. I'm stuck. So I work with a sleep coach, and she gave me techniques to start counting and touching and trying to feel my fingers, and it takes a few moments to get out of it. And then a friend of mine told me that in my sleep I was screaming this person's name while having nightmares, and that's when I said, "Okay, here and no further."

Dawn: That was sort of a wake-up call, it sounds like.

Jodi: A big shock.

Dawn: So what did you do when that happened? What did that open up for you?

Jodi: That I had to take the leap, because I was dying. Staying where I was was death for me. Who I was, who I am, it was suicide. I'm like, "No, that's not what I am." So I had a session with Rabbi David Hochenberg, and he walked me through a decision-making process which was 30 minutes, and by the end of it I said, "Okay, let's do this. I'm going to leap." Monday morning I phoned and said, "I'm resigning."

Dawn: What was it like to make that call?

Jodi: I don't remember. I don't remember how I felt before. I remember planning which day I should do this. My birthday was coming up, so which day? But the feeling of holding the decision and not acting on it was uncomfortable. I thought, "You know what? There's only one way to eat the elephant, and that's to take the first bite." So when I realized there was that discomfort inside me, I said, "No," and I just called her on the Monday. I didn't do an email. I made the phone call. I thought that was the right way for me to do it. I think she was a little shocked initially, but by the next morning she was done, over it. She had a plan for how she was going to handle it and move on.

Dawn: How did you feel after that call?

Jodi: Light. So light. So relieved. My sleep is better. So much happier. I feel like I've come home to myself.

Dawn: Did you notice shifts in your sleep right away?

Jodi: I haven't had sleep paralysis or nightmares since.

Dawn: Wow. So you made that decision. What a testament to when you really have identified the issue.

Jodi: Oh, wow. And for me, sleep is everything. It affects the menopause, mental, emotional, cognition, health, energy. Every single thing in our life is dependent on sleep.

Dawn: Did you have a plan for after that call? You've resigned, and to use your phrase, now what?

Jodi: Now what? In 2024, I always knew I wanted to be back in my own business. I just thought initially I wanted to first get some experience, understand the system in the US, before opening my own PR firm, Green Queen 2.0, in the States. So in '24, I opened up the LLC, and I was so proud of my little piece of paper, you know? That's a whole other story. So I had the LLC, I always had that plan. But again, I had no energy to look for clients, to look for a job. And I felt the only way to do that was to just jump. Let go and jump. At the same time as looking for clients, I was looking for a job, looking for part-time work, because I figured, Creator, I've leaped. Show me what the next step is.

Dawn: And what did you get as a response to that?

Jodi: That's a great question. Reconnecting with the most incredible human beings, who are totally aligned with who I am. Through them, we're growing our networks together, and anyone who is remotely not aligned with me internally, remotely a narcissist, I can smell it now, and it's off with your head. And the people who have reentered my life and opened doors and been a support to me have been on another level. The amount of crying I've done over the past few months, the amount of sitting on the floor and eating ice cream, back to your analogy, is a lot. It's a lot. But I'm happy. I'm so happy.

Dawn: Oh, that's beautiful. If you were looking back now, would you have just started Green Queen 2.0 in the US, or would you have still started with employment?

Jodi: I still would have started with employment. I feel like I don't have the same kind of courage that I used to have when I was younger. I don't think I was ever very risky, but I'm definitely less risky now, even though I just left without a job and without a safety net at all.

Dawn: I don't think that's true, Jodi. You've demonstrated an immense amount of courage. And you have a lot of reason to be reserved and cautious.

Jodi: It was self-preservation, Dawn. More than anything. I was dying. It was self-preservation. It didn't feel like courage. It felt like the boat is sinking, let me jump out of the water and pray I can swim.

Dawn: And it seems like you've proven you can. Tell us now, you've been honest that you're still inside this season, not fully on the other side. Tell us what self-trust actually feels like right now in practice, on an ordinary day.

Jodi: It's the feeling of being so grounded and so in touch with myself and with my intuition, and just knowing. Like I know, I know, I know, without having to explain or give a reason or have logic as to why.

Dawn: What is that, when you say "I know, I know, I know"?

Jodi: Intuition. Having a phone call with someone, and they want PR, and my intuition says, "Nope." That's when I know, I know, I know this is not a good fit for me. And you know how it is. As soon as you say no to someone, they give you all the reasons why you should do it. The other day I said to this guy, "I can tell you now this is not going to work from a PR perspective." "No, it will. It will." I said, "It's not going to work. You're welcome to go to another agency who will take your money and lie to you, but I will not do that." And perhaps that answers the self-trust question. It's about really being back to being myself. As much as I need the business, and as much as I'd love to say, "Sure, I'll take your money," it's just not me, and I'd rather not have the money and not have the client than have the wrong one.

Dawn: And that's self-trust. Sounds like integrity. And I think that self-trust is upstream of that, right? You have to trust yourself that you've got this, you're going to figure it out. You have to trust that you know what's right for you in order to uphold that integrity.

Jodi: Very much so. And make no mistake, Dawn, not even so long ago I was broken. What have I done? I didn't want to speak to a single person. I just went to work, switched my phone off, ice cream, and went to bed. I would say I was depressed. I'm not the type who gets depressed, so it's not something I can easily understand. But I was definitely depressed, cried a lot, and I didn't want to be witnessed. I did not want to be seen. Yet the amazing women that I've connected with in this process who gave me the safe space to be seen, you are one of them. The process of getting to this point took me weeks, and it was very cathartic. I didn't want to be a victim. I didn't want to be that person who sucks the air out of the room. I didn't want to be the person who brings everyone down, so I didn't want to talk to anyone. And there are just such beautiful people in this world that I've connected with who were encouraging me, who insisted that I sit on the floor with them and break down, and they held that safe space for me. And that was when I could finally jump back up.

Dawn: Yeah. There are beautiful people always willing to sit on the floor and eat ice cream with you.

Jodi: I know. So good. Even when I resist.

Dawn: You mentioned finding that some standard tools a lot of people hear about, like gratitude practices, affirmations, meditation, didn't really work for you. What has actually worked?

Jodi: I can tell you exactly what worked. You're meant to do the "what am I grateful for" every night and even in the morning. For me, that was a lot. I was feeling like I'm not grateful for anything right now. I'm grateful for my sleeping pills and ice cream, that's about it. It just wasn't believable. The affirmations were not believable. And then I started feeling resentment toward my siblings, and I realized that I was carrying so much anger in me. Many, many years ago I did a shaman course for about two years, and one of the tools we were taught was a forgiveness exercise where for 33 days we say three phrases: "I forgive myself, I forgive everyone in all my lifetimes, I forgive all experiences I've been part of, and I am free." Freedom is a big theme in my life. That's all I want in life, is freedom. I need to feel free. Every morning, now that I didn't have to work for someone and I had my own time, I would get onto my balcony. I love to hula hoop. With my hula hoop, I would say it 33 times a day, for 33 days, and if you miss a day, you have to start from the beginning. So I started doing that. And I added, "I love myself, I love everyone in all my lifetimes, I love all the experiences I've been part of, and I am free." So I did both. I would stand on my balcony hula hooping and saying these 33 times each, and that's really what I believe helped me shift. It was the combination of the movement, seeing the sun, and saying the affirmations, the ones that I could believe, that I needed. Instead of "I am wealthy, I am happy," it had to be ones that resonated for me.

Dawn: Yes. It's so important. That is why I often speak of affirmations and meditations: if you believe them, they're beautiful. But when you are holding up something, telling yourself you're supposed to say it, you're supposed to believe it, and you don't, it's actually overriding yourself. It has the opposite effect. So I love how you've just demonstrated that you found what worked for you. And that is the only thing that does work, in my opinion.

Jodi: What did you say, I missed that?

Dawn: That is the only thing that does work, in my opinion. Because when we try to paste someone else's mantras or affirmations onto us, we actually create more division than the unity that we need.

Jodi: More stressful. Like, look in the mirror and say, "I love you." I'm good. I don't need to do that. I love mirrors. I look in the mirror all the time, but that doesn't work for me. There are so many amazing, well-meaning people out there who were just throwing solutions at me, and I'm like, "Stop. I don't need solutions." Maybe that's part of the self-trust. I have the solutions inside me. I just need to figure out which ones work for me right now.

Dawn: You just need to meet yourself where you are.

Jodi: Ooh, yes.

Dawn: That's so important. That's part of, I know I mentioned to you the Floor that I have coming up. It's a working session about revealing your truth so that you are moving forward, putting yourself in the authority place instead of results. Because so often it's the results, the experiences, that are getting the job of telling us who we are and what we can have.

Jodi: 100%.

Dawn: And we need to take that back.

Jodi: I know. And again, especially for your listeners, find what works for you. If you take the mantra, shift it slightly, make it work for you. What I specifically loved about this is that it felt doable. I could achieve 33 times a day for 33 days. Plus, on top of it, I added... I don't believe in multitasking, but I do believe in being multifunctional. So hula hooping while I'm doing them, I'm getting sunlight. For the first time I was actually moving every single day, seeing the sun every single day. And I feel that combination was the key to me coming to the other side of that and realigning with who I really am.

Dawn: Yeah. For anyone listening, that ties into the comfort plans that we do at The Self Trust Coach. It's really feeding your mind, your body, your spirit. And that is what you just did here. You used the movement of hula hooping, being outside in nature, I would say that's spiritual, letting the sun, if you can...

Jodi: Seeing the rainbow in the morning.

Dawn: On your skin.

Jodi: Oh, it's so amazing.

Dawn: And whether you're saying something or listening to something that feeds you, not depletes you. It's so powerful.

Jodi: Another tool I used is that I was too much in my head, ruminating, ruminating. So podcasts were a lifeline for me while I'm getting dressed in the morning, doing my makeup, because otherwise I was just spinning and spinning and spinning. It was a way for me to get out of my head, just like the hula hooping outside is. And I still do it. I've added a plank to my little system, so I'm quite excited about that.

Dawn: Planks are wonderful.

Jodi: And weights.

Dawn: So tell us about Green Queen now, and what you're focused on and who you just love working with.

Jodi: Part of Green Queen 2.0 is that I've been meeting, like I said, just amazing human beings, and the ICP keeps coming up. This ICP, I'd never heard of this before. Ideal client profile. So I thought, "Let me do this," and the whole psychology and demographic, AI, let's go down a rabbit hole for three hours. Eventually, I thought, you know what? It's really quite simple. I just want to work with good people, good brands, who have good budgets so they can pay money and get good results. It's just that simple.

Dawn: Good people, good results, and maybe have some fun at the same time. I love that. Keeping it simple is so beautiful. Is there a type of business that is important?

Jodi: I love to work with consumer products. In South Africa, Tempur, or you call it Tempur-Pedic, for about 15 odd years. Glad, as in Clorox Glad, also for about 15. Pandora jewelry for about eight. Anyway, I don't need to list them. I had a lot of long-term clients, mostly consumer space and entrepreneurship. So I want products. I love products. My expertise was mostly in consumer products. I always say things you can touch, taste, feel, lick, smell. Things that are physical, and entrepreneurship and entrepreneurs. I love the entrepreneurial space. I love those conversations. There's this juice that happens. It's just my favorite. My inner adult gets so excited when I have these business conversations. And then my inner child probably loves the "Ooh, jewelry." So it appeals to all sides of me, and what I love about being in my own business is that I get to be myself every day, all day. And this time around, in 2.0, I seem to have attracted a lot of entrepreneurs and no products. Yet.

Dawn: Yet. Exactly.

Jodi: Working on it. But the entrepreneurs that I have met are the most beautiful human beings in the whole world. It totally fills my cup.

Dawn: So for the product-based people who are looking for PR, who want to be seen and known, as well as the amazing entrepreneurs, where can they find you?

Jodi: Greenqueenpr.com. Green as in the color green, queen as in king and queen, pr.com.

Dawn: Okay. We will have that in the show notes. Thank you. Jodi, what I want to name about this conversation is something you said early on: that you came to the US believing a difficult absorption was somebody else's story, not yours. You were lucky.

Jodi: 100%. It was going to be easy.

Dawn: And then it was yours anyway. I think that's one of the most honest things a person can say, because self-trust doesn't protect you from hard seasons. It doesn't mean that the hard bypasses us. What it does is give us something to come back to when you're inside it. And what you shared today, still inside it, still rebuilding, still practicing, that is the real version. Not the after, not the tidy recap, but the real version, and I really thank you for trusting us with it.

Jodi: Thank you. The whole process of interacting with you has been another reminder that my point of attraction is back on track, because you always came with such kindness. You responded, and with clarity. You were just always so amazing to work with, and I'm so grateful. You helped me on my journey.

Dawn: It's been an honor. So if what Jodi described felt close, if you're in a season where self-trust feels more like a concept than something you're actually living, where the belief is there some days and completely gone on others, that's exactly where I want to meet you right now. So before we go any further, I want you to take one step. Go take the self-trust identity map. It's free. It takes three minutes, and it'll give you a precise read on where your identity is operating from right now and where to focus next. That link is in the show notes as well. If this conversation moved something in you, the most generous thing you can do is pass it on. Subscribe, follow, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. These are real stories from real amazing people who have stood exactly where you might be standing right now, and there are more coming. I'll see you next time.

Where are you standing?

Your Floor is the foundation you're building
your business from.

Some of it is firm. Some of it may still be
moving with your results.

Three minutes to see which is which.

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