What to do when I don't want to do what I want done?

Jun 15, 2021

 I coached someone recently who bought an online course two weeks ago and has not started it.

She puts it on her calendar to do 30 minutes each day.

Each day she finds something else to do during those 30 minutes.

She said "I don't have time."

Which she realized was a lie because she had it on her calendar specifically for an open 30 minutes.

She said "I'm going to have to be responsible."

Which she realized she already is.

There was a lot of drama and story around not doing it.

She wants to do it.  She spent good money to do it.  But she's not doing it.

She wanted help getting to the bottom of it.

How often do you do this?

It's like you arguing with you.

Except, likely, you wouldn't set 30 minutes for a friend or loved one and just slide over it.

Why is it okay to do so for yourself?

You may think it is "no big deal."

Each tiny, seemingly harmless, "allowance" is a hit to your self trust.

Hits to your belief that you do what you say. 

It's triggered by thoughts like 

  • I don't want to
  • This is going to be hard
  • This is going to mean more work for me

NOT because you quit softball halfway through the season when you were 8 years old.

NOT because you are terrible with time.

NOT because you do too much for others.

You may very well have quit softball. 

You could have some opportunities to improve time management. 

And you may very well overextend yourself for others.

But none of these are the reason you don't do what you say you are going to do.

The reason is you are resisting and avoiding feeling discomfort.  

And then you find all of the evidence to support that you don't do what you say, when

Simply.  It is easier not to.

But you can remember that easier is not better.

It's easier to sit on the sofa and watch Hulu.

It's easier to order in every meal.

It's easier to settle with what is and never reach for more....

But is it?

Running a marathon is HARD but it is super rewarding for the millions of people who do them.

Having a baby is difficult on the body but we still have 8 billion people on the planet.

Saying goodbye to a loved one is incredibly difficult and yet we embrace the pain through love.

Going after what you want, no matter how big or how small, is easier than a life time of regret and "What if?"

So what is the key to follow through?

How can you honor your plans when you don't want to?

  1. Tap into why you want it in the first place.
  2. Anticipate and allow urges to deviate from your plan.
  3. Allow discomfort
  4. Take action until it's done

 Start small.

Build trust.

Build momentum.

The rest is choosing ease now for discomfort later.  Or discomfort now for satisfaction later.



Self Trust.  Self Belief.  Self Love.

These are the strategic by products of goal setting and achieving.

My client realized she didn't even have the facts about the course.  

She had no idea how long it was in total.  

It was unclear and so she built this heavy story around it.

Now she is clear on how long it will take.  

Her baseline threshhold of how many minutes she wants to do each day.

A clear timeline for when she will finish it and a plan to do so.

She anticipates and plans for her urges to deviate and knows how to handle them.

Facts can help aleviate drama. 

A plan that you are all in for will expedite accomplishment. 

Reduce the overwhelm. 





Stay connected with news and updates!

Join our Self Trust email community today and begin receiving tips, tools and challenges direct to your inbox.

🔒Privacy Policy: We hate SPAM and promise to keep your email address safe.