Do You Trust You?

Feb 24, 2022

Do you do what you say you are going to do for others but maybe less so for yourself? Have you ever stopped to ask why that is? How it is affecting you?

Most of us want more confidence in our lives but we don't stop to see that a key component of self confidence is self trust.

Self trust is knowing you will do what you say you will do. That you will follow through on your plans. That you will take care of yourself.

It means you can count on you.

Even when the going gets tough.

So often we make sure others can count on us. We make sure we show up for people, deadlines and obligations that have an impact outside of ourselves. And yet, we don't hold that same integrity for ourselves.

And here's the thing... You can fake confidence.

But you can not fake self trust.

Indeed, the cornerstone of a lack of self trust generally means you are all too quick to point that stuff out. Ready to compile and catalog all the times you didn't do what you said and how that means you won't do what you say in the future. And you can share it with exquisite detail.

And that is total BS!

But it is true that you can't fake following through on your plans.

You can't fake showing up for yourself.

Not having self trust looks like not only putting other peoples' needs first, but never getting to your own.

Second guessing yourself.

Looking to others for answers.

Always feeling like you have to learn more and do more.

Rushing to get through things.

Focusing on what you don't have, what you don't look like, what you don't do.

Spending time and energy recounting all of the times you didn't follow through on plans you made for yourself in the past.

Limiting the decisions you make and the chances you take to what you perceive as your predictable future.

Putting limits on your future possibilities.

It feels terrible!

More pointedly, it feels disempowering. Which leads to feelings of distrust, doubt, unworthiness, uncertainty, frustration, annoyance, defeat, indecisive and stuck.

But where does self trust come from?

We aren't born with it, or maybe we are. Either way, it is stripped from us in deliberate, and not so deliberate, ways from the time we are very young.

You should want this.

You shouldn't want that.

You should like him.

You shouldn't like her.

Why do you think that?

How could you do that? 

And on, and on... From kids, to teens, even as adults. 

Our trust is in question.

But it can be built. And it's not that hard.

It starts with a decision.

And then continuing to make that decision over and over again until it becomes your new habit.

It's not always easy but it is simple and the results are amazing.

And that decision is to HAVE YOUR OWN BACK.  

It doesn't mean not having anyone else's back. Or being right all of the time.  Or ignoring when you are wrong.

Having self trust means feeling empowered, full of integrity, intentional, decisive, dependable and worthy.

Having self trust opens you up to honest decisions of what you want and going out and making it happen.

It means not letting fear and doubt get in the way but inviting it in as a normal part of the journey.  Letting it sit back seat to determination and commitment.  

Because you can. Because you've got this. Because it's fun to show up as the full you and achieve what you want. Even when it's hard.

You do hard anyway.  Might as well do it on the way to amazing!

Self trust is the best way to get what you want and I can help you build loads of it.

And help you see all the amazingness you can create from a place of self trust.

This is what we do in coaching.  Reach out when not being ready is no longer an acceptable reason not to... xo, Dawn

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