The Answers Are Within

Oct 21, 2021

I don't often ask people's opinion before I buy something.

It doesn't naturally occur to me to ask "what is everyone wearing" before going to an event.

I didn't ask one single person for their thoughts when I decided to start my own business.

I consider myself hyper independent; and yet, I still seek approval, validation, acceptance in many different ways.

It could come in a compliment.

Or a new client.

Or a request for collaboration.

These are all things that I think "make me feel better". 

But they are just external validations that I easily think positive thoughts about.

I make them mean I did something right.

When the truth is, for every compliment, new client or request for collaboration; there are hundreds of crticisms, "no's" and passes. 

Some I know about and many I don't.

Our brains are wired to seek approval in some way.

It wants to notice the opinions that don't support our beliefs or decisions.

This is how our brains work. 

It's truly fascinating. 

But whether you seek validation, approval, agreement, opinions from others (or one particular person); or look for evidence outside of yourself that you made the right choice...

What is the difference?

Nothing really.

And what is the problem?

Nothing really.

It's just that when we look to others for answers, often we are missing our own internal guidance.

We skip the opportunity to build trust and connection with our own inner wisdom. 

Often it's because we are looking to share the blame if it doesn't go as planned.

Soften the blow of disappointment.

Which isn't actually possible AND is disempowering.


In every choice there is a chance things don't go as planned.

It can be disappointing.  Sad.  Humiliating.

Someone sharing that with you is comforting but it doesn't lessen the disappointment.  Sadness.  Humiliation.

You get to feel it.  Own it.  Make new choices.  Get back up.  Make another choice.

Not from fear.

But from knowing you make choices.  You feel the feelings, good and bad, and you get back up to make another choice.

Every day it is a choice.  Even when it doesn't feel like it.

All of the choices are within.

All of the answers.

You just have to decide which ones to choose.

Which ones to believe.  

When you see every thought as optional.

When every choice and decision you make is based on a chosen thought.

Your perfect answer emerges.  

 Every time.  

Whether you are independent, co-dependent or somewhere in between; we all seek back up.  Agreement.  Validation.  Assurance.  

AND we can give those things to ourselves. 

AND love it when we get them from others.  AND make it mean nothing about ourselves when we don't.

Your answers to your choices, to your questions, are within you.

Are you listening?


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