It's Not Supposed to be this Way: Arguing with Reality

Apr 03, 2024
woman leaning on wall with head on forearm with reflection of same

In today's discussion, we're diving into a common struggle many of us face: arguing with reality. If you've ever found yourself stuck wishing things were different, keep reading.

Identifying the Trap

Let's start by examining the trap of wishing for a different reality. It's easy to get caught up in this mindset, focusing all our energy on what is, rather than what could be. But in doing so, we often give away our power and resign ourselves to the circumstances.  We let the situation or words people say dictate what is possible for us.  Often deviating from our end goal.  

Understanding What Changes

But here's the thing: when we argue with reality, what actually changes? Sure, our perspective might shift, but the essence of who we are remains the same. We might feel like we're hitting pause on progress, but in reality, we're just spinning our wheels.  Shifting our focus off of the end goal and onto the perceived obstacle or roadblock.  But the reality stays the same.  And so can the goal.  The how may change, maybe even the when; but the who remains the same.

Exploring the Why

So why do we do it? Often, it's because we confuse acceptance with approval. And we see this as unacceptable, so we resist it with all our might. But this resistance only holds us back from what we truly desire in the long run.  Another reason is because we mistakenly thought there was only one way to get to the goal.  But what if it's an invitation to find a different, maybe even better, way?  

Moving Forward with Purpose

Instead of getting caught up in arguing with reality, let's focus our energy on moving forward. When things don't go as planned, it's natural to feel disappointed. But rather than dwelling on what went wrong, let's channel that energy into formulating a new plan for ourselves and our goals.  

It's important to see unwanted circumstances not as roadblocks, but as opportunities for expansion.  For stretching our focus from ONE way to THE way that works for us.  Release the idea that accepting the present moment means agreeing with it. Instead, focus on who you can become in spite of it. The way you will create because of it and because you don't let circumstances dictate your future.  

The Pact

Let's make a pact to stop arguing with reality and start focusing on how to move forward with it.  Tell yourself the truth about who you are.  Recognize that you are the same capable, resilient and full of potential human you were before, and no circumstance can change that. The way maybe different, maybe even the how but not the Who.  By accepting the present and looking toward the future with trust in yourself and determination for what you want, you can achieve greatness, no matter what life throws your way.


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