I Want Validation

Apr 11, 2023

Today, let's talk about validation

This is good for anyone who seeks approval or agreement from others. And anyone who is tired of punishing themselves for "needing validation".

We are going to talk about

  1. Why I think it is a mistake to think you shouldn't want validation.
  2. The benefits of receiving validation
  3. How to be an active part of your own validation
  4. How to be okay when someone else "doesn't get it"

Firstly, let's address the notion that wanting validation is a mistake. As social beings, we all crave validation in some way, whether it's from family, friends, colleagues, or even strangers. It's a natural human instinct to want to feel accepted, valued, and understood. Trying to deny this natural inclination can lead to frustration, anxiety, and feelings of inadequacy.

Receiving validation can have a positive impact on our mental health and self-esteem. It reinforces the belief that we are worthy, appreciated, and valued. On the other hand, giving validation can also bring about positive effects, such as creating a sense of connection, fostering trust, and building stronger relationships.

While seeking validation from others is not a bad thing, it's important to remember that the most significant validation comes from within. You have the power to validate yourself, to acknowledge your achievements, and to recognize your strengths. This can be achieved through self-reflection, practicing self-compassion, and setting achievable goals.

When seeking or expecting validation from others; it's important to recognize that not everyone will always provide you with the validation you're seeking. In these situations, it's important to avoid internalizing the lack of validation as a personal failure or inadequacy. Instead, try to understand that the other person may have their own reasons for not providing the validation you're seeking.  Remember, your worth and value are not determined by others' validation, and it's essential to cultivate a sense of self-validation to maintain a healthy self-esteem.

Seeking validation is a natural human inclination, and denying it can lead to negative consequences. Receiving and giving validation can have positive effects on our mental health and relationships. It's important to remember that while seeking validation from others is valuable, the most significant validation comes from within And others' inability to give validation does not diminish the worthiness of said validation So, let's take an active role in our own validation and celebrate our achievements, strengths, and unique qualities. 

What will you take away from today's message?

My goal is for you to remove any shame around wanting validation and to start seeing yourself as a beautiful source of it.

  • Maybe you start noticing without judgment your desire for validation.
  • Question what you are hoping to hear from the other person or persons.
  • Can you say those things to yourself? AND share them with some one you care about?
  • Decide ahead of time that it's okay if they don't get how awesome it is...

I love this quote, “Freedom on the inside comes when validation from the outside doesn't matter.” – Richie Norton

I would offer that Freedom on the inside comes when self validation is given freely and validation from the outside is a delightful bonus. 

 So want it from others, if you want.  But need it mostly from yourself!  And then get to giving it.

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