Why You’re Still Struggling with Comparison And How to Make It Work for You as a Leader

Let’s talk about comparison.

If you’re building a business, leading a team, or growing something meaningful; you’ve likely fallen into the trap of looking around to measure how you’re doing.

And while comparison gets a bad rap (you’ve probably heard “comparison is the thief of joy” more times than you can count), it’s not inherently bad.

In fact, when used intentionally, comparison can be one of the most powerful growth tools you have as an entrepreneur or leader.

But here’s the problem: Most of us use it in a way that erodes our self-trust, our clarity, and our momentum.

In this edition of The Self Trust Solution Newsletter, we’re unpacking the three types of comparison and how to use each one to fuel your leadership, sharpen your instincts, and stay aligned in business; even when your path looks different.

🔹 1. Cruel Comparison (The Confidence Killer)

Cruel comparison says:

• “You should be further along.”

• “Why aren’t you doing what they’re doing?”

• “You’re behind.”

This kind of comparison doesn’t give you data—it gives you doubt. And it often shows up when you’re already stretched thin or questioning yourself.

📌 In business, this might look like:

• Questioning your pricing after seeing someone’s flashy launch.

• Dismissing your steady growth because someone else went viral.

• Thinking you’re not a “real” leader because your strategy looks different.

🛠️ Try this instead:
Catch it. Name it. Reframe it.
Ask: “What’s actually true for me right now?” or “What would I do if I trusted my own way and timing?”

🔹 2. Strategic Comparison (The Growth Tool)

Strategic comparison is all about research—not self-judgment. It asks:

• “What can I learn from this?”

• “What parts of this inspire me?”

• “What parts feel misaligned?”

Here’s the key: Strategic comparison can help you identify what you want—and what you don’t. That second part is often overlooked, but it’s gold.

📌 In business, this might look like:

• Noticing that someone’s marketing strategy doesn’t feel like a fit for you.

• Realizing that a fast-growth model doesn’t align with the kind of life or business you want.

• Observing a team dynamic that you don’t want to replicate.

🛠️ Use this lens:

• What specifically feels resonant here?

• What feels misaligned—and how can that inform my path forward?

Strategic comparison isn’t about copying.  It’s about curating. It sharpens your clarity.

🔹 3. Compassionate Comparison (The Confidence Anchor)

This is the kind of comparison that honors different paths without ranking them. It sees diversity of approach as something to be respected, not resisted.

📌 In business, this might look like:

• Celebrating someone’s success and choosing not to replicate their path.

• Recognizing that your quieter, slower, more intentional approach is still powerful; even if it’s not what’s trending.

• Letting someone else’s bold move remind you of your own bravery, instead of belittling your progress.

🛠️ Try this reframe:
“There are many right ways. Mine is one of them.”

🔑 Final Takeaway: Leaders, Comparison Isn’t the Problem- Unconscious Comparison Is

You don’t need to eliminate comparison.  You need to elevate how you use it.

When you engage with comparison consciously, it becomes a strategic tool for:

• Clarifying your goals

• Refining your strategy

• Deepening your self-trust

• Making decisions that actually serve your business and life

This is especially vital for entrepreneurs and leaders who are bombarded with highlight reels, success metrics, and industry “shoulds.” The more you trust your own discernment, the more confidently you lead.

✨ Inside The Self Trust Lab™

If you’re ready to turn down the noise, stop second-guessing your instincts, and lead with clarity and self-trust, The Self Trust Lab™ is where we make it happen.

We don’t just eliminate comparison spirals; we help you use them as strategy.

🧠 You’ll learn how to:

• Strengthen your decision-making

• Follow through consistently

• Rebuild your relationship with your inner dialogue

• Execute your next-level goals, Your way

🔗 Join the lab here: theselftrustcoach.com/theselftrustlab

👇 Let’s Discuss:

What kind of comparison shows up most for you? Which type are you shifting into?
Drop a comment or hit reply.  I’d love to hear.

Until next time,
Keep trusting yourself.
Dawn